I'm going to girl's home .
Either that or i'll get kicked out of the house , find my own shelter & fend myself .
Just because it all happened yesterday .
I shouted at my sister , cause i was trying to tolerate and hold my anger .
But i couldnt because i know my own attitude .
My sister just had t rub salt into my wound , nice one uh .
I was angry because i bought 44 balloons and flowers for my classmates and friends .
It took me alot of hardwork , because i wrote cards and all and pasted them on it .
Monday i was supposed t bring it t school but cause was going t be late for school & that is why
I left it at home , my mother threw
EVERYTHING away .
Will you be angry & hurt ?
It's like all your hard work is done in vain & going down the drain ?! ..
Obviously i tried t hide my feelings and anger towards my mother .
Afterall she is my mother ?
It is not because of the money i lost , it's cause i'm angry and irritated about the hardwork i did .
Then i saw my sister using my favourite purple hairband , i gave her attitude and talk t her untill very xialan .
I din't mean it right , my attitude is like that .
I can't show my thoughts and feelings i will show attitude .
Then she started shouting & saying stuffs bout me , wth luhs .
So yea, i couldnt tahan anm and i shouted at her .
From the living room all the way across t the kitchen .
Which was pretty loud and full w vulgarities .
After that, i went off into my room and slammed the door .
Quietly i cried myself t sleep , but before that i punched the wall like hell .
Now, my hands are injured from punching , hurts alot .
How am i going to play my match tomorrow ?
Obviously i have to tahan the pain , =/
So, my mother thinks everything is my fault .
Yea, i admit i shouldnt have blow up everything , but wth .
My sister say about me i can't fight back ?
Am i supposed t sit there like some dumb fuck and listen to her insults ?
Now, everything is my fault .
Is this fair ?
I quietly have to stand all these rubbish going on .
School problems are already enough for me .
I'm having streaming this year , i'm trying to work my fucking ass off to get into express stream .
Can't you see that i have changed alot ?
& decided to not turn back to my old ways ?!
You never knew what i did for the family outside .
All you think is that i hang around outside , don't study , come back home late .
Like some wild child who have no life , totally have no sense of what is life called .
Have you all ever thought of trying to understand me better instead of judging me on the outside ?
I'm fucking trying to fuck my maths up so that i will at least pass for all my fucking subjects
during streaming .
But you here , trying to say that i'm good for nothing , like a siao gao ?
Fuck, what is this ?
Am i supposed t listen t all this nonsense and get myself even more stress ?
Now i don't even think god helps , wtf .
I regretted of not cherishing the times tgt w my father .
A happy family , thought not much of communication , but i feel very warm in my house .
I miss the times all four of us had tgt , eating tgt , laughing tgt , chinese new year play tgt .
Everything is now gone , everything turns upside down .
My life used to be very perfect .
My maid and i very close like sister , she advise me in alot alot of stuff .
We have fun tgt , i never shout at my sister .
But now ? Everything is gone , because dad is gone .
Whenever i look at happy families , do you know how envious i get ?
Father , Mother , Brother , Sister or whoever gather tgt as one happy family .
Going out for lunch, trips and holidays .
I'm so imperfect larh , =/
Fat, ugly, no life, no talent, suck at everything, super dumb, family is broken .
What is this ? .. =/
ANDREA SAYANGGGGG ♥
