You knew how much i want to do it, but because of your " not able to specify " properly got me out of it . I want the cca points, i need it . Not only that, i want to be in it too . You know what i mean . Can you get any idea how hurting, disappointing and sad i am ? Or at least, spare a thought for how i felt ? A dancer, got kicked out of the dance floor because of her friend's words . I'm beginning to question myself . Did you do it intentionally or unintentionally ? Because you knew how much this performance meant to me . Last year we couldn't perform because we were still young back then and there weren't enough space for all dancers to be there . But this year, however, it's at Victoria Theatre . You get any idea how big the stage is ? That will fit all of us in ? Of are you just being selfish, self centered and jealous because i was sort of in the first row ?
And what about Talya being kicked out of it ? Why are we getting kicked out of the dance floor without any reasonable reason ? This is toally UNREASONABLE . You claim that it was your mistake, yes it really was your mistake . However, you DID NOT clarify with the teacher on that day that what you meant was i am not participating that day's practice because i wasn't feeling well ! But, you din't . 2 weeks later, when the list came out . My heart sunk . Seriously . It sunk totally . You know how hurting it is to not see your name getting listed because of your mistake ? And you said, you forgot . YOU CAN ACTUALLY FORGET TO CLARIFY WHEN IT WAS YOUR BLOODY FUCKING MISTAKE . I have totally no words to describe you & your actions . But i feel UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED . Betrayed by you, my own close friend You're the one that stood by me all the time, we've gone through thick and thin together, you're the one whom saved me out of trouble, you're the one whom lied for me, you're just like my sister . And countless times, i get betrayed and backstabbed by you . Not to mention one of the things you've ever done to me and not many knew bout it excep you & I . And maybe afew others . That online thing . You know what i'm talking about . And now, you're trying to use all excuses to tell me that, you're going to tell the teacher in charge to put me in the dance instead of you vice versa . Do you think that's easy !? Do you really think it is !?
DO YOU GET THE FUCKING FEELING WHEN THE TEACHER ACTUALLY GOES UP TO YOUR FUCKING FACE AND TELL YOU, YOU'RE NOT IN THE PERFORMANCE ETC ETC ?!
AND WHEN THE SENIORS SHOT BACK AT US WITH THE ANSWER, NO YOU'RE NOT IN THE PERFORMANCE, DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HURT I WAS ?! DO YOU KNOW !? No, you don't . Because you ain't I .
For no reason, Talya got kicked out .
For a plain mistake caused by you, I got kicked out .
And, you seriously have no idea how it feels like when a dancer is being thrown out of the dance floor .
To you ; I'm seriously very very disappointed to you . No matter how much you apologise to me, you'll never fill up that gap of hurt . You caused it, but tries to ammend it . If you really meant well, you would have done what you're supposed to do on the day itself when you've made the mistake . Do you know how hurting and sad to see all of you all practicing infront of me ? It's like, you din't care how i felt . Din't care whether i existed . I seriously have nothing to say much to you anymore . When we're at the side sitting, Talya actually said " I am sad . " For the first time she admits it because you know that all of us dreams to be inside since secondary one . I know me & you have been performing EMDD since primary 3 cause of Choir . But now, it's not . It's Dance . It's TOTALLY different . Muneera actually almost cried . & I , shed a few tears while watching you'll . Thanks for hurting me once again girl .
